


be with you

by Dantooine



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Planet Alderaan (Star Wars), Pre-Canon, Pre-Rogue One, reduced age gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28996152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dantooine/pseuds/Dantooine
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Leia Organa
Kudos: 2





	be with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cassleia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassleia/gifts).



The royal transport sets down on Alderaan's surface without a sound. It still makes Cassian's heart lurch. Odd, considering he's accustomed to the clunky landing gear of Alliance ships and the breathless maneuvering it takes to land some of the older vessels in their fleet. 

He can hazard a guess at why, but shoves aside that train of thought as he rises from his seat. Cassian makes his way to the front of the ship, passing by a viewport that showcases a tiny fraction of Alderaan's beautiful landscape. If he was truly just one of Bail Organa's aides he'd pause to take in the view. Instead, he's left with the fleeting image of a mountain lingering in his vision. 

Cassian always notices the mountains first. They're different from the ones on Fest. But weighty, ancient presence of the mountains on Alderaan's horizon is a much needed constant in his life. They stand tall, as if nothing will shake them. Flowers will bloom and wither around them, but the mountains promise they will stay for seasons to come.

It's Cassian's view of the planet that has changed over time. These days, it enables him to accept some moments for himself, without the fear of them being used against him. He knows a man like him shouldn't be reliant on anything, much less a planet he only visits a few times a year, but he finds himself anticipating the feeling of mountain air in his lungs.

In a few moments, Alderaan's soft sunlight will warm his skin, and for a few moments he will be able to breathe. Cassian's heartbeat picks up in speed.

The door to Bail Organa's quarters hiss open and the Viceroy himself steps out. Cassian keys in the code to lower the ship's ramp just as he joins him. The ramp disengages soundlessly, allowing the cool evening air to rush in. The first breath Cassian takes not only dispels the staleness of space travel from his lungs but alleviates the weariness that seemed to have sunk into his bones. 

Alderaan's fresh air is as potent as ever, and Cassian feels a sense of renewal he hasn't experienced in a very long time. 

"Shall we?" Bail gestures. The two men walk down the ramp together. Their footsteps fall at a steady pace against the cobblestone walkway. Cassian's path forward from this point is clear, and not just this short walk to the summer palace. The horrifying nature of the intel they had gathered made it that way. So when Bail quietly asks him if he's up for the task, Cassian nods without hesitation. 

Some days his head is too heavy to do so, but today his mind is as clear as one of Alderaan's glacial lakes. "I know who to ask," Cassian replies.

Bail turns, and Cassian feels Bail's gaze searching his features.

After all these years there are still times Cassian cannot decipher his expression. He has no reason to worry, because what Bail has asked of Cassian is simple. He hasn't even asked for blood, which is far lighter task than every mission Cassian has been on as of late. So there is no reason for the older man to be looking at him like this. Nothing other than the grim realities of their galaxy that Cassian has been confronted with ever since his father's demise. Maybe before then. 

"Then that settles it," Bail replies after a moment. He lightly touches Cassian's shoulder before continuing to walk towards the palace. In the amicable yet pensive silence that follows, Cassian pushes away thoughts of the mission that lies ahead and focuses on the world around him. 

When Cassian first visited Alderaan years ago, the wounds of his heart were still bleeding. He was quick to anger then, in the way young people are, and more brittle for it. Seeing Alderaan's unscathed landscapes and bountiful wealth added insult to his injuries. The not-Festian mountains seemed to mock his world for being so weak as to crumble under the Empire. Every luxury, every sight, was a reminder that this world existed in the same galaxy that had silently watched the destruction of his family and his people.

It's why Cassian had been so wary of the Organas at first. Why he'd hated their planet. They were a symbol of the Republic's wealth and Core-centricism.

A flash of movement ahead catches his eye. 

Cassian looks up just as Bail does. A figure clad in white darts between the marble columns of the palace, her form striking against the shadows of a dying day. What the fresh air had done to calm Cassian is undone by the sight of Leia Organa standing at the top of the steps to the palace. 

Framed by an intricately carved arch above and vine-wrapped columns on either side, with the evening breeze buffeting her skirt, Leia looks like an old royal portrait come to life. Positioned at the top of the palace steps as she is now, Leia looks every bit like the queen she will grow to be, and just as distant.

Then she bounds down the steps and Cassian sees a smile on her face that cannot be captured in any painting.

Something about her unrestrained relief is contagious. Cassian feels the tightness in his chest spread as warmth through his body, unhindered even by the coolness of a summer evening. It was this fire of Leia's that had melted Cassian's apprehension towards Bail's Alliance and Breha's court. He also knows this same fire will guide them all for decades to come.

He just hopes, against Leia's own wishes, that she never has to become a solider in that army. Indebtedness to the price of freedom is something Cassian would not wish upon anyone. It's why he's so quick to bear it himself.

Bail calls Leia's name and she bounds into her father's arms. He doesn't hear what she says to Bail, but Cassian catches Bail's muffled whisper of _I missed you too, cielito._

Cassian swallows the memories that arise at his words and steps back to offer them some privacy. He turns his attention to the clouds drifting in the sky above, as if they hold the answers he's been asked to seek. The sky is a brilliant orange, casting the shadows of the mountains into sharp relief. It's an unforgettable sight as breathtaking as everything else on Alderaan.

He doesn't remember when he first started seeking solace in Alderaan's similarities to Fest. He certainly doesn't remember when his disdain for the Princess turned into respect. Then affection, and whatever the name is of the emotion that quickens the speed of his pulse now. 

Cassian lets out a slow breath. 

He knows he shouldn't be feeling any of this. How can a man who cannot claim his own name seek the refuge of a princess like her? A world like this? In this galaxy, anything can be taken away. Names. Lives. Memories. Hopes. And now, if he finds the rumours to be true, planets. He takes another look at the breathtaking sight before him, and this time, he watches the mountains that have graced Alderaan for millennia disintegrate.

"Where's your mother?" Bail's unobstructed voice interrupts his thoughts.

Cassian looks over at Bail. He feels Leia's eyes on him, warm and insistent as ever. Every breath before Cassian and Leia's gazes interlock feels like an eon spent in an inferno. Yet, Cassian can't bring himself to look at her. At once he's consumed by the immensity of his feelings for her and crushed by the growing darkness around them, the thick debris of crushed mountain ore choking his lungs.

The effect she has on Cassian would be terrifying, if it wasn't such a welcome balm to his war torn heart. He's more worried about the effect he has on her. Not out of some misattributed self-importance, but the fear of what his loss will do to her.

His life is not his. It is the Rebellion's. Yet, if Cassian looks in her eyes, he knows he will feel selfish hope seep into his heart once more. 

"She's finishing up a meeting with the ministers," is Leia's reply. Her voice is as light as the clouds and as lovely as the pinks of the sunset. Cassian holds onto its sound, as if he'll remember it forever. It is as futile as grasping smoke. After all, Cassian knows very well that sound is the first memory that fades. 

"I was packing," Leia adds, and the sudden emphasis in her tone compels Cassian to look at her. He finds a smile waiting for him on her face. It's tiny, but clearly directed at him, and the unhindered brilliance of it manages to light up his entire galaxy. But when their eyes meet, her smile falters.

Cassian's been hit by more than his fair share of blasterbolts, and the sudden pain in her expression hurts just as much. 

"I see," Bail replies, and Cassian feels Bail's posture shift ever so slightly towards him. Now Cassian meets the older Organa's eyes. Mirth lingers in their wrinkled smile, but Cassian sees the same burden that weighs on his thoughts reflected in those dark eyes. Leia doesn't know. After all, it's just a rumour. Only Cassian's intel-gathering information will be able to confirm the truth. She'll be told if Cassian he finds proof that they can take to the Senate.

One of the only reasons Cassian's still able to stand is the knowledge for every horror he faces, for every horror he overcomes, he spares another from experiencing it. But this newest nightmare leaves him with nothing but searing desperation. It's what's gotten him out of the worst of situations, and while it might not save him from this, he will do his best to spare others from the horrors that lie ahead. 

When he looks at Leia smiling at her father, he is reminded of the kindness he is fighting so hard to preserve. "I suppose I should offer her some reinforcement," Bail says after a moment.

"Do you need me to come with you, your Highness?" Cassian asks.

Bail shakes his head. "I won't keep you any longer." 

The sun disappears behind the tallest of Aldera's mountains, taking both light and warmth with it. Cassian realizes that despite his care, he'd fooled himself into hoping to have a moment alone with Leia. He sets that pain aside as quickly as it flares up, and instead watches the reddish glow of the last of the sun's rays paint her features as he prepares himself to leave.

"We still have time to catch up, don't we?" 

Leia purses her lips as she mulls over her father's question. "I'm headed out to Ralltiir the day after tomorrow."

Her father considers her statement, then nods. "Then I'll see you at dinner."

"Okay," Leia says, looking as surprised as Cassian feels. Perhaps Bail just wants some time alone with his wife, especially in light of news that might change their galaxy forever. But then he gives Cassian a look that makes him wonder what he knows.

There isn't much to know, really. Just a series of assumptions one could make about a curious princess and a quiet spy in close contact over several years. More often through aliases than in person, but the familiarity they share reaches far deeper, towards their hearts. That same anger that caused Cassian's brittleness still exists in Leia, but she also carried a kindness that nourished the softness in Cassian he'd come so close to losing. He could be gentle with others, but himself?

Only Leia's stubbornness was capable of reminding him of that. 

"Thank you," Cassian says to Bail, and it's for everything. For finding him, for bringing him here, for raising his daughter to be what every galactic citizen should be. For working so hard when he had no reason to.

The older Organa's expression softens. "Thank you, my boy. And may the Force be with you." Bail holds his gaze. Cassian did not believe in the Force, for it had not offered him anything to believe in. In this moment before Bail turns to walk into the palace, however, Cassian finds himself asking the will of the galaxy to consider sparing this man, and his planet, the horrors Cassian and his people have faced. At least for a little while longer. 

Then Bail leaves, his cape sweeping behind him as he disappears up the steps into the palace.

Cassian turns to Leia. They drink each other in, their world slowly rendered monochromatic by inky blue shadows. She's clearly curious about the dark news weighing on both his and her father's minds. But he can't speak it. Not to her, at least. Not now. Not here on Alderaan, in the cooling summer evening, the one place in the galaxy that seemed to exist on a realm lying out of the reach of his nightmares. 

"I can't," he says to answer Leia's unspoken question. She sighs, then nods, forever caught between her perpetual irritation at the galaxy and her awareness of her place in it. For all the sins Cassian carries, telling her about the superweapon before he can verify its existence is one sin he cannot bear.

He is willing to do whatever is needed. That will have to be enough. 

"Is your work here?" she asks, forever hopeful despite the ways of the galaxy showing her otherwise. Cassian will do anything to make sure she keeps it. Even as he shakes his head. 

"I should be gone by now." He should be on the other side of the galaxy, on Jedha. Wherever his Partisan insider is. Soon he will be, far away from this planet and its royal family. What happens after, hinges on what the Imperial pilot has to say. It can't be anything good. But he can hope whatever it is has a weakness for him to find. A man, his daughter, the very things he'd just asked to be protected. 

"Don't let me hold you back," Leia says, stepping forward. She's always been shorter than him, Cassian thinks, but he hardly notices until moments like these, where they're this close and he can see her smallness in comparison to the mountains surrounding them.

Somehow even now, she feels far grander than any towering mountain. Cassian takes a deep breath.

"You aren't." 

She isn't. He has to go. This is how it always ends, between them. With a farewell, and no promise to come back. Cassian isn't Bail. The likelihood of his return is as slim as each of Leia's eyelashes, falling dark against her cheek now as she touches his upper arm. Fear of losing someone is the greatest weakness there is for a spy. Yet they grapple with it every time. 

He knows she's used to watching people leave. Most of the time they come back. But each return of his feels more like a miracle, rather than his skill. He thinks about the Force, and how some beings say it has a will. If it does have one, then, he must have not yet fulfilled it. 

Cassian realizes his features have been drawn tight, and he wonders how long he'd been letting the exhaustion show. Perhaps that explained the pain in her eyes when they'd first looked at each other. Cassian does his best to offer her the most genuine smile he can muster. Their circumstances mean she'd see right through a lie. But she has to know the effect she has on him is wholly positive. 

"Leia," he murmurs, tasting her name like how some take a first sip of Toniray. Many in the galaxy never learn its taste, after all. Leia swallows and the grip on his arm tightens. The sun is gone, now, Alderaan's sky a deep blue quickly shifting to black. Cassian's robes aren't enough to keep the cold from seeping in. Soon he will change into another set of clothes and leave this world behind. "I have to go," he says quietly, as if to himself. Isn't he? Is she not part of him?

Is he not part of her? What farewells must they share, if they've already staked claims in each other's hearts?

Leia's gentle touch creeps up his arm, before settling around his cheek. If she wanted to, she could pull him down and kiss him. Cassian would have followed willingly, like a river to an ocean. She doesn't. Instead, Leia gives him the sweetest gift she can offer. His birth name, the only gift he's ever been able to give her until now. 

"Cassian," she whispers. His strength buckles. He wants to close his eyes. He doesn't. He could lean into her touch, let the pain bunching at the base of his stomach spill out on his cheek. Instead, he keeps his eyes fixed on her and burns her face into his memory. 

He sees the same pain he feels in her smile. But her shoulders are squared and he knows that, while it hurts to leave her, she's strong enough to handle it.

Cassian must honour her strength, in everything he does.

"Farewell, Cassian," she says softly. Her thumb brushes his cheek, but she may as well have been clawing at his heart. Or kissing him, for the effect is the same. "And may the Force be with you." 


End file.
